It's Over!

The combat mission is over in Iraq! “It's over!” said that guy who uses big words on T.V. I think there needs to be a feature on our televisions that makes us hear what we want: "Uh, look, I'm a Muslim and I uh was not born in this country."

Audience at home: "Oh I knew it!"

I honestly did not listen to anything this man had to say because he wants to keep social security and that's wrong. We should work until we die. It's good ethnics and morals, keeps the youngins off the street and uneducated just like I like um so they will vote for me!

Nonetheless, he says it's over. Our combat mission is over; no more MG's blowing through human flesh promoting democracy! Instead we are going to build their Government up BOREEEE. How will CNN get viewers from that now? Coming up: guys in suits talking about how to stop the violence *Snore.*

This is not why I am blogging tonight, however. Tonight I want to talk about why we should be worshiping Mr. Bush! Without him, he wouldn't have made this all possible cause without him he wouldn't have had four different reasons set over seven long years on why we are there! Really America?! You need FOUR reasons now? Four dishonest, ever changing, and lacking in evidential reasoning to raise arms against another country, all to promote peace by blowing up their homes up. You had me at explosions, Mr. Bush.

First we had 9/11 we went in Iraq to fight the Iraqi's after 9/11 because they had 0 to do with 9/11 sounds fair to me. Then we had the threat of weapons of mass destruction! And they weren’t there, but how dare you say they couldn't be just because there is no evidence. Have you found Mr. Osama? For all you know it could be under his mattress, think about that one Osama could be hiding in Afghanistan with weapons of mass destruction preparing to blow us up!...Afghanistan...not Iraq...Wait?

Third, we were told Saddam Hussein was a bad man. You’re darn right he was. Good job Bush, I love you so much. That took some real investigating, I tell ya.

Fourth, turns out Saddam was ruining oil for the U.N. and we were protecting the U.N. cause we are the big man on campus who protects the little U.N. We’re that hero that gets told by the U.N. not to war with Iraq, but we do it for them anyway. They don’t actually mean what they say I think it was opposite day that day.

So not only was Bush building mountains of evidence to destroy the Middle East, he was also in good spirits about playing opposite day. How could we also forget, we are also a lot safer. We have wire taps now and we now get to listen to what our neighbors have to say. You say invasion of privacy I say bah to that. Unless, of course, you have something to hide! Think about it. There could be a serial killer living next door whose house smells like dog.

The Patriot Act, too! We now plan ahead by putting people away who look the role, but haven't acted it out yet. Better safe than sorry right?

So, my lovely reader, who’s responsible? The guy who protected us so well by giving us colorful and lovely narratives that persuades us to have Dick Cheney breathing on the end of our phone lines. Or the boring guy who pulls us out of combat missions and doesn't tell cool stories, and actually applies this extreme left wing thought called "Logic" to pulling us out of a seven year war. I know my answer.