Rally Time!

Hello blog, sorry for the lack of content. Been away for the last few days, but rest assured I am here now, so please continue not reading me.


As we are all aware Glenn Beck had his “Restoring Honor” rally Saturday pulling an unknown amount of people. Some say 80,000 others say 300,000. I say about three billion. I mean, Beck said the Holy Spirit was going to take over him, who wouldn't want to see that?! Another person claiming to be one with the Holy Spirit, yeah right, try fifth time this week.

According to my secret resources, ninety five percent of this crowd was only there for free tea on Saturday’s, and are secretly English born people.

Nonetheless, Beck and Palin put on a nice little show where Beck set the record straight. This was NOT for politics. It was for the Glenn Beck bank account and done for the viewers. Well done brother. Nothing says Holy Spirit like conning a couple thousand people into thinking your a prophet. Just ask Pat Robertson and the 700 club of many Benjamins.

Just how brilliant and amazing were these supporters who came together to sweat, breathe heavy, and look in awe at how Beck is able to talk with just a little microphone with no strings attached.

"HOW DOES HE DO IT?!" Well on everyone’s favorite morning progam-- with more plastic people than your kids Fisher price set -- The Today Show, they caught up with these fantastic supporters of free will and justice.

"We need to uhh uhh uhh protect our uhh constitution." A Brilliant statement indeed, full of wisdom and not just force fed through Fox News Channel at all. These people are totally right. Now, let's just speak theoretically here and say that if some sort of Islamic center from – let's say an abandoned Burlington Coat Factory – held worship for Muslims near Ground Zero. These types of people would be the ones in support of that Mosque because they protect The Constitution. Damn right, Tea Party!

Then we had those socialists across town doing some off the wall unfounded march for MLK which really has no relationship with MLK. Obviously, “I have a Dream” was about Christianity, equality, and not civil rights. What nutjobs those people are, Mr. Al Sharpton.

Then expecting to see some insane brawl at the end where both rallies met into each other (Beck's leading/Sharpton’s approaching), we instead heard boring chants back-and-forth about not drinking Tea. I'm sorry, but it's so delicious it tastes like restriction and big business with a tad of oil. It tastes like the solution to our economic problems!

Good try, Mr. Sharpton, I believe you were trumped. Maybe next time you can sell your soul for six months out of the year to shamelessly promote your rally. You should dye your hair blonde along with your envy of our hero Mr. Beck.