Thursday, September 23, 2010

The World According to TangentX

50th post! 50th post! 50th post!
Hello blog, yes it's my 50th post! I never understood why things like 50 or 100 or 200 or 1000 are any different from the number in front of them. But as custom dictates it's a celebration. An extravaganza, a smorgasbord! A casserole of laughs.
I will do something different; I'm going to talk about me today and not the tea party or the liberals.
I'll start with politics; I was raised in a family that couldn't give a damn about politics. My Dad is a conspiracy theorist and a man who has given up hope on any president or public figure. My Mom doesn't have time for politics. She works a lot, has to care for three kids and my Dad.
So I wasn't forced into any views I adapted them myself. I read my textbooks and saw how the system worked. I, just like so many "youngins", paid attention to the 2008 presidential election. However I didn't buy Obama's speeches and just knowing McCain agrees with Bush on a lot of things turned me away.
So, as the election died down and the "youngins" slowly faded back into there usual lifestyle of stalking Justin Bieber, I stuck around. 2012 I will be able to vote, so I wanted to find a party. I initially went with the Democratic Party because I only heard about Bush and McCain most of the time. I disliked both of them so I said Ok lesser of two evils.
So I met some Liberals on the internet, at school, then I noticed how I didn't fit in with the Liberals. I wasn't a vegan, I wasn't for higher taxes. I'm fine with the second amendment and the list goes on. So, I didn't want to consider myself a Liberal anymore,
So this time I looked more at the conservative values and that is where I found the choices of Small Government, low taxes, less spending, people that value the constitution no matter there religion, party, or what they felt was morally right or wrong. It was in the interest of the constitution and I really liked that.
Then the Tea Party came, and so did being generalized. Anytime I'd say I was Conservative I was labeled racist, a fundy, Bill O'reilly lover, Fox News watcher, all of it. No matter how much you would plead or present your case of old fashioned conservative values you would have to face the images on Fox or in the media of Palin being a total idiot.
So, I went down the middle. I'm not in either party. I then saw that people are willing to throw support just for being in their party it makes me sick. No matter who it is and how split their ideology of conservatives are or some Liberals are. They will still go for them, and not for the actual person running.
So that's how I became what I am in how I look at politics.

On the deeper more sensitive subject of Religion, it goes a lot further back and more back-and-forth and quite personal. I grew up a moderate. I was sent to church and the Sunday school system. From as early as I could remember I was always, always skeptic. I'd go into class and fight myself in my own mind saying “There's God. No there isn't.” It was a confusing time. I think the longest I could go with accepting it completely was two months.

Despite this I still went to Church and always wondered why the priest did only a few lessons or readings despite how massive the content in the bible was. I started reading it on my own and learned more about the faith I was involved with than when I went to Church. I'm not going to lie; I didn't like what I read from the parts about homosexuals to race. I didn't like it plain and simple. I think that's when I let go. I still couldn't let it go though and for a long time I blocked it out and didn't think about it until this past summer where I finally cut it and told my parents how I felt.
I didn't feel I was a good Catholic anyway. What kind of Catholic would debate his creation inside his own church? I'd sit through sermons asking if he was real. I think that was also a contributing part to becoming who I am. I let go of religion and now I'm at peace. I couldn't ask for anything more.
My Mom is religious and my Dad and I, I think, grew closer with these conversations. I learned more about my Dad and I liked it. My Mom wasn't happy about it, but thankfully accepts who I am. However I promised my Mom and my family I'd never tell some of the more Catholic members of the family how I felt. Notably my Grandma, who I love very much.
So, I close this 50th entry knowing how long I've spent here in such a small amount of time. Hope you enjoyed it so far, cheers to another 50.

TangentX

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