It's Over!

The combat mission is over in Iraq! “It's over!” said that guy who uses big words on T.V. I think there needs to be a feature on our televisions that makes us hear what we want: "Uh, look, I'm a Muslim and I uh was not born in this country."

Audience at home: "Oh I knew it!"

I honestly did not listen to anything this man had to say because he wants to keep social security and that's wrong. We should work until we die. It's good ethnics and morals, keeps the youngins off the street and uneducated just like I like um so they will vote for me!

Nonetheless, he says it's over. Our combat mission is over; no more MG's blowing through human flesh promoting democracy! Instead we are going to build their Government up BOREEEE. How will CNN get viewers from that now? Coming up: guys in suits talking about how to stop the violence *Snore.*

This is not why I am blogging tonight, however. Tonight I want to talk about why we should be worshiping Mr. Bush! Without him, he wouldn't have made this all possible cause without him he wouldn't have had four different reasons set over seven long years on why we are there! Really America?! You need FOUR reasons now? Four dishonest, ever changing, and lacking in evidential reasoning to raise arms against another country, all to promote peace by blowing up their homes up. You had me at explosions, Mr. Bush.

First we had 9/11 we went in Iraq to fight the Iraqi's after 9/11 because they had 0 to do with 9/11 sounds fair to me. Then we had the threat of weapons of mass destruction! And they weren’t there, but how dare you say they couldn't be just because there is no evidence. Have you found Mr. Osama? For all you know it could be under his mattress, think about that one Osama could be hiding in Afghanistan with weapons of mass destruction preparing to blow us up!...Afghanistan...not Iraq...Wait?

Third, we were told Saddam Hussein was a bad man. You’re darn right he was. Good job Bush, I love you so much. That took some real investigating, I tell ya.

Fourth, turns out Saddam was ruining oil for the U.N. and we were protecting the U.N. cause we are the big man on campus who protects the little U.N. We’re that hero that gets told by the U.N. not to war with Iraq, but we do it for them anyway. They don’t actually mean what they say I think it was opposite day that day.

So not only was Bush building mountains of evidence to destroy the Middle East, he was also in good spirits about playing opposite day. How could we also forget, we are also a lot safer. We have wire taps now and we now get to listen to what our neighbors have to say. You say invasion of privacy I say bah to that. Unless, of course, you have something to hide! Think about it. There could be a serial killer living next door whose house smells like dog.

The Patriot Act, too! We now plan ahead by putting people away who look the role, but haven't acted it out yet. Better safe than sorry right?

So, my lovely reader, who’s responsible? The guy who protected us so well by giving us colorful and lovely narratives that persuades us to have Dick Cheney breathing on the end of our phone lines. Or the boring guy who pulls us out of combat missions and doesn't tell cool stories, and actually applies this extreme left wing thought called "Logic" to pulling us out of a seven year war. I know my answer.

Rally Time!

Hello blog, sorry for the lack of content. Been away for the last few days, but rest assured I am here now, so please continue not reading me.


As we are all aware Glenn Beck had his “Restoring Honor” rally Saturday pulling an unknown amount of people. Some say 80,000 others say 300,000. I say about three billion. I mean, Beck said the Holy Spirit was going to take over him, who wouldn't want to see that?! Another person claiming to be one with the Holy Spirit, yeah right, try fifth time this week.

According to my secret resources, ninety five percent of this crowd was only there for free tea on Saturday’s, and are secretly English born people.

Nonetheless, Beck and Palin put on a nice little show where Beck set the record straight. This was NOT for politics. It was for the Glenn Beck bank account and done for the viewers. Well done brother. Nothing says Holy Spirit like conning a couple thousand people into thinking your a prophet. Just ask Pat Robertson and the 700 club of many Benjamins.

Just how brilliant and amazing were these supporters who came together to sweat, breathe heavy, and look in awe at how Beck is able to talk with just a little microphone with no strings attached.

"HOW DOES HE DO IT?!" Well on everyone’s favorite morning progam-- with more plastic people than your kids Fisher price set -- The Today Show, they caught up with these fantastic supporters of free will and justice.

"We need to uhh uhh uhh protect our uhh constitution." A Brilliant statement indeed, full of wisdom and not just force fed through Fox News Channel at all. These people are totally right. Now, let's just speak theoretically here and say that if some sort of Islamic center from – let's say an abandoned Burlington Coat Factory – held worship for Muslims near Ground Zero. These types of people would be the ones in support of that Mosque because they protect The Constitution. Damn right, Tea Party!

Then we had those socialists across town doing some off the wall unfounded march for MLK which really has no relationship with MLK. Obviously, “I have a Dream” was about Christianity, equality, and not civil rights. What nutjobs those people are, Mr. Al Sharpton.

Then expecting to see some insane brawl at the end where both rallies met into each other (Beck's leading/Sharpton’s approaching), we instead heard boring chants back-and-forth about not drinking Tea. I'm sorry, but it's so delicious it tastes like restriction and big business with a tad of oil. It tastes like the solution to our economic problems!

Good try, Mr. Sharpton, I believe you were trumped. Maybe next time you can sell your soul for six months out of the year to shamelessly promote your rally. You should dye your hair blonde along with your envy of our hero Mr. Beck.

Twisted Reality

Reality television, I never really cared for it. I'm not sure why there’s a Real Housewives D.C. when the Liberals and Conservatives have had their own Dog-and-Pony show for so long. But, oops, I'm rambling.

For ALL you reality TV fans out there who like to see The Situation’s abs or the fist fights, how about bombings? Yes, G4 is now promoting a new show (inspired by the movie “The Hurt Locker”) for this spring where cameras follow American troops as they watch them disarm a bomb or let it EXPLODE and kill them.

The spokeswoman also emphasized on the killing part because they know that the killing of American troops on camera will really punch in those ratings.

This is the doomsday for T.V. If I had to choose between Levi Johnston’s show and this show I'm choosing the boring Levi. Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but I'd rather watch an over confident man who will never achieve anything be on television show than watching REAL American soldiers get blown up. I probably wouldn't be bothered by a actual documentation of a camera crew following soldiers to see them disarm bombs or meet their demise. I personally wouldn't watch it, but I wouldn't speak out against it.

However, when I see a television station plugging this show and emphasizing the bomb exploding, killing the soldiers for pure profit and ratings, then yes I have a problem. There’s no plug along the lines of “Let’s see what it's like to be in this war or just talking about disarming the bomb”. No, they went full swing with the intention of showing these soldiers blow up.

Just for profit and revolutionizing reality TV. This is awful to me.